The (Un)official Poke-Pet Guidebook!
by Painful Parody
Summary: Not every person out there who owns a Pokemon is looking to battle or train after all. Some people just want a nice friend or a cute pet, but it's always best to have a little knowledge before you go and adopt a creature that could potentially destroy your house!
**So this is a side project I'm working on alongside my Fire Emblem Fic. It probably won't be updated as often, but I thought it would be a fun… thing. ^.^**

 **I wouldn't call this a "parody" but it will have a great deal of silliness.**

 **Please leave a review and I'll try to reply to it!**

 **Introduction**

So, ya wanna keep a Pokémon as a pet! Well, the first thing to do is research- which, assuming you picked up this handy book, you already had that in mind. However, it's important to realize something- as wonderful as Pokémon are, one must remember that keeping them as pets is _nothing_ like training in the Pokémon league. That isn't to say that trained Pokémon make bad pets. In fact, if you are already a trainer, then you already have some advantages- you already have some knowledge of your partner's needs and personality, and have likely already formed a strong bond with them. Still, having advice is always helpful!

To start, what kind of situation are you looking for? There are several kinds that need to be taken into account; First and foremost, what background is your new friend coming from? Wild pokémon are difficult to raise as pets- it takes a lot of time to get them to trust people; one must treat them with kindness and a great deal of patience and tolerance. If you are inexperienced, seek aid from a local breeder, or a professional Pokémon trainer. It is _not_ recommended that you try to raise a wild pokémon on your own if you have no training experience prior. _Wild Pokémon can be dangerous._

Alternatively, it might be advisable to acquire a Pokémon from a breeder or sanctuary. Breeders frequently have firsthand knowledge of the Pokémon and can always provide you with further help, and sanctuaries are _always_ looking for potential adoptions. Please be aware, that they will interview you quite thoroughly. Be honest! It's not a good idea to lie to someone who might have access to a Pokémon that could set you on fire!

The following is a list of some categories of Pokémon that you may wish to consider:

 **Baby Pokémon:**

Cute, cuddly, quick to grow attached to their trainers, and widely available for adoption as eggs in Breeding Centers, Baby pokémon are some of the best options for someone to raise. However, they require a great deal of care at first, even more so than other Pokémon. They require constant attention, and if you are away from home frequently you should probably search elsewhere.

 **Large Pokémon:**

Some species are big. Really big. Some of them are TOO big. Keeping large pokémon requires LOTS of space, so if you live in a rural area, these Pokémon may be ideal. It should also be noted that certain species of Pokémon grow VERY large, and evolution can also occur, even without training. As such, a Pokémon's potential for evolution should always be kept in mind. Consider purchasing an Everstone! They aren't expensive _or_ difficult to find. Also be aware that large Pokémon need more resources!

Seriously, have you ever seen a Snorlax eat? Frightening.

 **Canine Pokémon:**

Infinitely popular as pets, canine Pokémon can be slow to warm, but they are fiercely loyal and protective once they grow more friendly. Pokémon like Growlithe, Arcanine, Lillipup, Herdier, and Stoutland are some famous examples. Poochyena and Mightyena are another case, although they are somewhat harder to garner the trust of, and can be a bit unpredictable in their youth.

 **Feline Pokémon:**

Mischievous and playful, feline Pokémon are a bit more aloof and varied in personality than canines. While most enjoy play, they can be rather unpredictable, and have much sharper claws and teeth than most Pokémon kept as pets. However, with enough time and care, they can become loveable and incredible sources of luck.

If you happen to own a Purrloin, be careful to keep an eye on any of your belongings, and do frequent searches for "hiding places" where they like to stash things.

 **Aquatic Pokémon:**

Many species of pokémon thrive in and around water. If you would like the company of one, be sure that you live near a clean, and relative-sized body of water. Most aquatic pokémon need to be kept moist, and can live well in both fresh and salt water, with some exceptions. As always, research their needs!

Unless you are _very_ experienced, do not, I repeat _do not keep a Magikarp as a pet._ They might seem silly and harmless, but they are known to evolve suddenly and violently.

 **Types:**

While individuals are quite varied, the Pokémon's type classification can affect you, their needs, and personality. There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but here are some brief guidelines on each group:

 **Normal**

The normal type are the most varied and diverse of all eighteen types. They often are classified as both normal and some other type (normal/flying being the most common), and for the most part make excellent pets. They can thrive in nearly any environment, provided there is enough room and food. Give a normal-type lots of love and they'll prove to be a wonderful companion. They are also the most common Pokémon around. If you can go ten feet in the Kanto region's grassy areas without almost tripping on a Rattata, you're in a strange place indeed.

 **Fire**

Fire types are dangerous, though rarely malicious. Young fire pokémon should be kept in a damp, warm environment, as they have difficulty controlling their fire, often accidentally sneezing it out or puffing a cloud of hot cinders during a coughing fit. Many fire types have natural flames on their body, such as Charmander and Ponyta but are fully capable of preventing it from spreading. Despite this, it's best to have a water-type and a fire extinguisher handy, and most of your house should be fire-proofed. Not recommended for beginners, as many fire types can be fiercely proud and difficult to handle. However, with plenty of respect, they become some of the most loyal species you can find.

 **Water**

Water types are _very_ diverse, personality-wise. The majority that make good companions and pets can be laid-back, friendly, and often prone to playing little jokes- generally by squirting water at their owner's face. They make a good pet for people who live in rainy environments with lots of water nearby. It's also good to have plenty of hardwood or tile floors, as most water types that move on land are constantly damp, and tend to leave a bit of wet residue. If you don't mind this, then they can make delightful friends.

 **Grass**

Grass types are largely friendly and quiet. They enjoy areas with plenty of soil and sunlight, and get along well with most other Pokémon. In fact, many grass types are often used to help negotiate or mediate between other Pokémon. They also are well-known for being fragrant and pleasantly scented. However, be cautious, as some grass-types can be somewhat dangerous. Be sure to check if they have any aggressive tendencies and be very cautious around Pokémon well-known for having toxic spores.

 **Flying**

Bird Pokémon are probably the second-most popular type to have as pets, due to the fact that they can thrive nearly anywhere. Even more aggressive flying types are known for being easy to befriend, and they are incredibly common- Pidgey, Pidove, Spearow, Taillow and Starly are perhaps some of the most common Pokémon in the entire world. Food is easy to provide, but it's best to be gentle, as startled birds tend to peck or flee- and it's difficult to keep a flying pokémon in one place!

 **Bug**

Many people I've met are squeamish around bug types, but they are some of the least hostile and friendliest pokémon I have had the delight of encountering. (With the possible exception of wild Beedrill, who are dangerously easy to provoke.) Bugs can be surprisingly affectionate. Famous examples are the generous Leavanny, who often create "clothing" out of leaves for younger Pokémon, with no benefit to themselves. It isn't bad to be squeamish around bugs, but remember that bugs are still charming and friendly. That being said, many of them have poison, so it's a good idea to carry some kind of antidote around your home.

 **Electric**

Oh boy.

So, first of all, electricity is dangerous and painful, so you should probably have rubber gloves. Electric types often zap things on accident, and can get over-charged and grow ill, causing them to frequently discharge. Pichu are famous for shocking _themselves_. It's always good to have some rubber around. Also, be sure to watch electrical cords and sockets too! Some of our little friends have a bad habit of gnawing on them.

That being said, electric types, while occasionally slow to warm, are infinitely friendly and love a good snuggle. (Again, beware of accidental shocks!) Some of the best for pets are the "electric rodent" family: Pikachu, Plusle, Minun, Pachirisu, Emolga, and so on. (They also can charge a battery in an emergency, if you ask nicely enough.)

 **Fighting**

Proud, loyal and fierce, the Fighting type might not seem ideal at first. And indeed, some are not always the best choice for a pet. There are two basic categories I have observed: The Berserk fighters and the Cool fighters. The Pokémon Mankey is an excellent example of a berserker. They are playful, friendly and fun, but can become ballistic at the drop of a pin. It takes a LOT of training and patience to have them be safe around. The Cool fighters are more common, such as Machop or Mienfoo are far safer. While they love to bodybuild and spar, they know their limits and are incredibly skilled at not harming others. They are also incredibly gentle around children, and despite their incredible strength, have amazing control.

 **Rock**

Rock Pokémon are sturdy. They can live in nearly any environment and, while sometimes intimidating or aggressive, most are patient and cool. However, many of the larger species are highly territorial, and it's not usually a good idea to allow them to interact openly right away. Introductions to other pokémon are best done while young, and should be taken slowly with lots of precautions. Always keep an eye on them!

Most rock types are not overly fond of rain, though some do not mind it. Keep in mind that water feels quite unpleasant for most Rock types!

 **Ground**

Ground types are often mistaken for Rock types, but are far more diverse and much less aggressive. They tend to make good pets, but if you want them to be inside-pets, you should remember that most ground types like to burrow, and often get muddy and dirty. The best way to clean them is a gentle scrub with a warm, damp towel as a soaking wet one will cause discomfort, with exceptions. Many ground types are a bit shy, and slow to warm, but just as many are quite friendly and cheery. Some good choices are Sandshrew, Cubone or Wooper, but many make good companions.

 **Poison**

For the most part, I would _not_ recommend poison types as pets. Many species are aggressive and some are just plain unhealthy to be around. Grimer, Koffing and Trubbish all have some health risks. However, that isn't to say that they cannot make good companions. Poison Pokémon are often described as difficult but rewarding to raise. Many Grass and Bug Pokémon are also Poison type, so that might be a good option. Keep loads of antivenins, antidotes and check with a breeder for more advice, as accidental poisonings do occur. Most are not dangerous, but they can be excruciating.

 **Ghost**

Well, this is a mixed bag. Ghost types vary from being outright dangerous, to playful tricksters who just want to have friends. They tend to enjoy scaring people, and some _are_ potentially malevolent. However, I feel the need to state this outright. Ghost Pokémon cannot and will not steal your soul. If anything, Sableye, (infamous for doing so) are quite affectionate little pranksters, along with most who "steal souls". Litwick however can induce lethargy and mild sleepiness, so it might be a good idea to avoid those, especially if you are a relaxed sort. Ghost types are uncommon, although they do tend to show up in city environments, swamps, and abandoned building.

If you _do_ get a ghost, be sure to treat them with compassion, as any perceived slight will be avenged- with some clever pranks and scares.

 **Psychic**

Psychic types are strange. This is not a bad thing, necessarily, but it can be quite a trip. Most Psychics can manipulate objects, and a fair few can read minds. They form some of the tightest bonds with trainers, and are highly intelligent and demand respect- they can be a little finicky, and their personality is even more important than that of most other pokémon. Easy going and laid back species tend to make better friends. Possibly some of the best Pokémon of this type to have as companions are Abra, Ralts and Natu.

 **Dark**

Honestly, Dark Pokémon have a terrible reputation- quite wrongly so. Even in this day and age, Absol are blamed for natural disasters (shoot the messenger, eh?), and Houndoom are believed to cause burns that never heal. While often aggressive, predatory, and frequently blamed for various events, Dark Pokémon are _not_ by any means evil. In fact, most damage that is caused by Pokémon is _not_ caused by the dark type. That being said, it is best to be careful, as they can be unpredictable and even violent sometimes. However, dark types make loving pets and delightful friends, once you come to an understanding. It might take a while, and they are very disobedient, but once you've established a friendship, you will have one of the best friends you can get.

 **Steel**

And you thought the rock type had a lot of mettle. (I'm so sorry)

In all seriousness, Steel types are quite diverse, but are great for places that might require a great deal of hardiness to thrive in. A number of things should be taken into account however, as steel types are a bit unusual:

Diet: Many steel types consume metals and ores, so it might be advantageous to live near any location with lots of scrap metal or rock deposits. Even if your personal choice does _not_ consume this sort of food, they will likely be more comfortable in these environments, due to their naturally hardy composition. As always, _check with a breeder_.

 **Fairy**

The fairy types are, unsurprisingly, one of, and possibly _the_ most common type to have as pets, aside from normal and flying. They are almost entirely good-natured, popular with children somewhat small, relatively easy to care for, and of course, absolutely adorable. It's no wonder that the type make such popular pets, with Pokémon such as Clefairy, Jigglypuff, Snubbull, Togepi, and more all fall into this category. They prefer peaceful environments and do best in clean areas. Make sure to tidy up a lot, especially with the smaller, more sensitive species!

 **Dragons**

Boy, sure saved the hardest for last. Dragon type pokémon are difficult enough to find and breed, let alone train and keep as pets. They hold a huge diversity of abilities, powers and personalities, making it a huge challenge. You absolutely cannot raise a dragon Pokémon that is any older than an infant if you have had no experience. I would recommend finding a far more professional source than this book if you plan to do so. I would also like to point out that, as always, nothing that is stated here is totally universal. If you _must_ have a dragon, then smaller and more temperate species are preferable, such as Dratini, Altaria (and swablu, although it does not have the dragon classification), and Goomy.

 _Do not get a Deino._

You are not experienced enough.

I don't care what you think, if you came to this book for advice on keeping pets you are one hundred percent not ready for a Hydreigon.

So now that we've discussed types a bit, you can see that there's a ridiculous amount of diversity. Take into account everything you have learned this chapter before picking your new friend. It may save you some blood, sweat and tears down the line.

And please, be smart, patient, and kind with them.

 **And that's that. Let me know if I should make more of these.**

 **What Pokémon would** _ **you**_ **keep as a pet? :3**

 **Goodnight Everybody.**


End file.
